03/08/2007

Dear All,

Land Navigation was today. Not the indoor class; no, they stuck us in the woods in small groups with a compass and a map and set us loose. Since I happened to be in the first row when we formed up on the range, I was selected as a team leader. So I had the map and compass. We were given instructions (e.g. on an azimuth of 184 degrees proceed 650 meters and record on the sign number there) and a three hour period to finish. Then they waited for dark and sent us out again. I am proud to report that my team attained a perfect score. My battle buddy's team missed one marker, and one of my friend's team made only one of the seven positions correctly. Poor guy got some special attention for that.

So our day was interesting, but there is little to report. For eight hours we walked in the woods. In the very late evening, DS “S” (Daddy) even provided us with coffee and soup on the range. It was perfect. I've craved coffee for my whole time here, and when my wish was granted on a beautiful starlit Georgia night sitting in the woods...let's just say that I whole-heartedly enjoyed the Army last night. For a moment it felt right. More days like Thursday could do me good.

But karma was waiting for payback on:

Friday March 9, 2007

Today was the gas chamber. You've all heard the legends. Some of you have lived it. Today I got a load of it. Procedure is as follows: you secure your NBC (nuclear-biological-chemical) mask and enter the chamber as a platoon. The CS gas is already running thick. A group of four Drill Sergeants in full protective gear (no NBC masks for them) wait inside to observe/restrain you. They walk you around the chamber a few times and then set you in groups of ten or so. Then they have you break the seal of your mask and reseal it...just to give you a taste of things to come.

Then they make you remove your mask. Once the mask is removed, you must put on your helmet and strap it, then pick up your weapon in your right hand and your mask in your left. You must then stand for about a minute with your eyes open, breathing “normally.” You then leave the chamber, holding your gear correctly, and must walk with composure around the perimeter outside for a bit.

Now for how it actually went: my mask did not seal correctly. I got a steady stream of CS gas..though just a small taste...during the walk-around. So my ask was full of snot by the time I had to take it off. I forgot to mention: I've been alluding to it but haven't said it, but I've had a nasty cough and bad congestion for about two weeks now. I couldn't sleep for most of last night because I was constantly hacking up my lungs. My lymph nodes have been prodigious. Everything is green. Unpleasant, but not crippling. So I've stayed on training. And today, my sinuses were CLEARED. When I took off my mask, I started gagging and snotting immediately. Liquid was coming out of every orifice on my face. I leaked ear wax. I teared up. I vomited myself...though I didn't even notice until later. It was awesome. But the whole time I maintained relative composure. I secured my gear. I stood and waited for instructions to leave. I don't know how I did it, but I maintained. And I walked outside to find a group of Drill Sergeants and civilians with cameras, come to enjoy the show. I was gross enough to merit a picture. The entire front of my uniform was covered in snot and vomit. But I was home free...until a Drill Sergeant noticed that my chin strap was hooked incorrectly. And I was told to go back in, report my error to the DS team inside, and come back out. So I had to first fix my chin strap, which is when I noticed I had vomited a little. A good portion had collected in the chin strap, which is why it had slipped off. I was just thrilled with how very disgusting this all was.

And I walked back in. Once again, I don't know ;how I did it, but I calmly approached the DS inside, reported my name, number, and reason for return, and requested permission to pass. More snot and gagging in the mean time, of course. And the DS decided to screw with me and pretended not to hear me. So I repeated myself two more times. I was just about ready to die when they let me go. But I did successfully complete the gas chamber.

And I managed to compose myself relatively well. We did have some runners and I did have the privilege to witness one. My mask was still on when this happened, so I was able to view it with only minor agony. He took his mask off. He inhaled. And then he freaked out. He dashed towards the door screaming, vomiting, and generally secreting liquids. It took five sergeants to tackle him and physically drag him back inside. It was amazing to watch. He actually fought them off for some time in his desperation before he succumbed. He wept pitifully between his wretching for some time before they released him. Another man, who I did not witness, had to go in four times. We only saw him outside between his second and third trip, begging the Drill Sergeants to spare him. As my battle buddy so eloquently understated, today was “an incredibly unpleasant event.” Or, as the 1^st Sgt. stated before he sent us in” “Be prepared for an extremely emotional experience.”

In short, it was really, really gross. And I'm sure I look positively disgusting in the picture they took. I just can't believe how very gross it all was. But my sinuses were clear for the rest of today.

More later. It's lights out and I'm exhausted from my adventures, so I'm going to grab some sack time. I'll report more soon.

-Jeremy